He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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