i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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