Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
