Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
