What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
