Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
