covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
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