My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
