I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize