laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
