i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
