My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
