The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
