I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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