I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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