yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
3 2 1 whiskey
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
