She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
