How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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