Non-Jews are for practice
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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