Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
