Heybabeimwearingurpanties
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
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i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
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Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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