Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
