If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
This house was built for laser tag.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
