did you get engaged???
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
