whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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