this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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