I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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