Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Randomize
