just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
