in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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