You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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