I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
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she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
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I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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