dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
