I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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