i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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