our cab driver is having phone sex.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I have post one night stand depression
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