I hate all girls vehemently.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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