sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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