Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
