Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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