I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
My vagina is officially offended.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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