And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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