so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
