if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
