I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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