Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
