Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
We got so high we made milksteak
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
