remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
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