so let's talk penis.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize