you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize