I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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