I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
