If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Randomize
