he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
