I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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