i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
