she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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