sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
