i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
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