No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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