If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
