i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
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So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
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He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.