omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
