I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak