life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize