Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
there was a trapeze. enough said
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.