when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Watching her eat just hurts me
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
