she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
