i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
