we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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